sannion

Oh man, I just got done doing my monthly devotion for Anubis. I brought him a black & white cookie, a little one-shot bottle of rum, some incense, flowers and a candle and left them for him at the cemetery near the university library, which has to be one of the most beautiful and numinous spots here in Eugene. Even though it was super hot and I was pouring sweat the whole time, it was a really pleasant ritual. The amusing thing, however, is that the cemetery is home to a bunch of fairly tame squirrels, and they descended on me en masse as I was doing the ritual. It was hard not to break stride and run over, pick them up and scritch their fat little bellies, but I did my best to maintain proper ritual decorum. Next time, however, I am totally bringing some food to feed them.

Today is the 11th of the lunar month, and the day I've set aside to honor Anubis.



Hail to you Anubis who is upon his mountain,
great one of Kynopolis,
Lord of the Western Lands,
Chief Embalmer,
Protector of the body of Osiris,
Opener of the Way,
Chief over the mysteries of those in the Underworld,
Guide of Souls over the Long Road,
noble Anubis, son of Osiris,
mighty Anubis, son of Nephthys,
faithful Anubis, whose name is pleasing to all the gods!

If you'd like to join me, you can visit his virtual temple here and make offerings. Rather neat, huh?

Uhm. My spam tonight was rather odd.

That which you have promised must you perform
Become the carnal monster
And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute
They danced by the light of the moon
To a little heap of stones Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò
You weep so that even a stone would show pity

Seems almost like oracular verse. (Hathor and Hermes perhaps?) Or something. Especially since two completely separate e-mails quoted lines from the poems of Edward Lear. I suppose there's something to be said for getting literate spam, even if it's nonsensical.

But these next couple. Ewwww. These are probably among the creepiest, unsexiest ads I've ever seen:

Deeper in her entrails
Attack her ham pocket more

"Hail Dionysos,
Leader in the dance of the fire-pulsing stars
overseer of the voices of night,
child of Zeus, be manifest,
with due companionship of Maenad maids
whose cry is but your name."

- Sophokles, Choral Ode from Antigone

Yesterday and today have been pretty nice. Relaxed, low-key, and off-duty. After the intensity of the Feast of Spider - and all the stuff that's gone on in the week leading up to it - I figured I could use a bit of a break. Originally I was going to do some more stuff yesterday, including a pretty serious sacrifice ... but that was sort of covered on Saturday, in a rather unexpected fashion. I was still going to do stuff on Sunday, because I had promised, but Spider said that I ought to take some time for myself, that I had earned it. Frankly, I was a little skeptical. Unsure that I had heard her properly, that I wasn't just projecting and hearing what I subconsciously wanted to - even though I genuinely wanted to continue my festival observance - when the matter was solved for me.

I was sitting in the park, jotting down notes for a Spider-related article I'm planning to write, when all of a sudden erl_queen and her dad pull up. They had gone to visit the Rose Garden and were headed off to Alton Baker park when they spotted me. (Now, the amusing thing is that I don't normally sit at that picnic table, and had I in fact chosen my normal perch they would have completely missed me.) Well, they asked if I wanted to tag along, and I heard Spider whisper "Go! Have fun!" So I did. We went to Alton Baker, then up to the Springfield Mall, where we had a good time making fun of the strange things found in Crafters Ally and the strange church in the mall (now with Jesus puppets!) Then we watched The Hangover which was way funnier than I had anticipated. Afterwards we went out for a yummy Indian dinner, erl_queen gave me a bunch of presents she had picked up for me out on the coast, we spent time hanging out in her garden, I got to chill with her father (whose company I enjoy) and then it was time for some long-overdue cuddling with my beloved. I couldn't have asked for a better, more relaxed evening.

Well, I took today pretty easy too, enjoying the break in between devotional days on my calendar. I puttered around the house, doing assorted chores, read a bunch, and generally did nothing productive or important. It was nice, very nice. Well, in the afternoon I got a call from xi_o_teaz who wanted to know if I was up for seeing a movie. Even though there wasn't anything I desperately wanted to see, I enjoy his company and jumped at the chance to hang out with him. So he came over, got to see my apartment (Xi is actually only the second person to set foot in the Spider's Lair, erl_queen being the other) and then we walked to the Valley River mall. I got to show him some of the cool spots where I do ritual in the park, and we had a very pleasant conversation. Then we watched Year One starring Jack Black, which was actually surprisingly smart and funny. It wasn't a good movie, by any means, but it more than exceeded my expectations (which weren't really that high to begin with) and I spent a lot of it laughing, which I certainly needed. And, of course, at one point the characters talked about decapitation and losing one's head - and what made it even better was that it was a total random aside that didn't really have anything to do with the plot or what had come before. Just to drive home the point, I guess. (So, uhm, anyone else starting to notice a pattern here, or is it just me?) The rest of the evening was spent reading and doing some personal writing - a reflection on my odd pantheon and some of the correlations between the gods, which I may or may not share publicly.

All told, it's been a very pleasant 48 hours, and I'm ready to jump back into the swing of things. Tomorrow is the 8th, so it's back to Spider stuff, then on the 9th it's my first Dionysos day (the 13th is the one on which I do oracles), then another break and on the 11th it'll be Anubis day. At some point later in the month I'll have to fit in Seth and Hathor, since they got preempted by the Feast of Spider, but that just gives me something to look forward to.

It's funny, another benefit to this more focused practice is that I'm paying better attention to the night sky. Okay, confession time here. Even though I use a lunar calendar, and have for the better part of a decade, it hasn't ever really had a big impact on my life. Mostly I just look up the dates, mark them down, and then go about my business. The exceptions to that are pretty much the 11th through the 13th. I know what the moon looks like then, because that's when Anthesteria falls (as well as my monthly oracular session), and it's a big deal for me, looking up into the heavens and knowing that the moon is visible to me largely as it was visible to the ancients while they were celebrating this festival. Rest of the time, not very observant, except for the new moon which is the start of the month for me, and kinda hard to miss anyway. But in doing this, that's changed a bit. Each night I've taken some time to go out and gaze up into the heavens, noting the size of the moon and how it changes from day to day. Eventually I'd like to get to a point where I have it memorized so well, and have the associations of my personal festival calendar down to the point where I can look up and think, "Ah, today is Sobek's day," just by the shape of the moon. I don't know. Ultimately little things like that aren't terribly important, especially since most of the dates I came up with have little to do with lunar phases ... but I don't know, somehow it makes it more real, more grounded in my experiences and thus in my everyday awareness. And that, I don't think, is a bad thing by any means.

Hey look - Balance of the Two Lands got it's first review!

Oh man. I had such a good time tonight. Such a good time. It was probably one of the best times out dancing that I've had in a very long time, as evidenced by the fact that I actually got out on the floor and danced for a considerable length of time, and didn't just sit there sipping drinks. Part of that was due to the awesome music they were playing - it was just exactly what I needed to hear, beginning with a techno version of Bowie's Let's Dance and really, with that invitation, how could I not? - but also, the energy was incredible, and perfectly in synch with the festivities. For several hours I was in constant communication with Spider - in a very intense and personal way. She even communicated some really important things like a specific Symbol that I think is going to be really helpful in some of the magical stuff she and Hermes have been nudging me to do. And, as a pleasant surprise, xi_o_teaz showed up, which made the evening even better since I had someone to talk to. (We had this great conversation about trauma, remorse, and catharsis which was just incredibly appropriate since that's a big part of what tarantism is about.) Had erl_queen been there, it would have been a perfect evening. (I miss her so much - she's been on a trip with her dad, and it seems like forever since I saw her last, even though it hasn't even been 48 hours. I love you, baby!) Though I suspect she would not have been too happy when a woman asked me to get up and dance with her, and proceeded to grind her bottom into my crotch. However, that would have been a much cooler thing if 1) the woman wasn't incredibly intoxicated (she kept lifting her skirt to show everyone her panties, climbing up on chairs to dance, and dry humping pretty much anyone who would let her, and even a couple folks who weren't into it) 2) she didn't have the face of a 50 year old crack whore* (which was really disconcerting since she had a smoking hot bod) and 3) well, the fact that I wasn't really into it. In fact, when I was sitting there I was having a pretty intense encounter with Spider, and she sort of jarred me out of it, which was really disorienting. I would have told her to just fuck off except, well, it kind of felt like a challenge - do this thing that is way out of your comfort zone, dancing with a total stranger - and besides, well, it was sort of in the spirit of the night. But I only danced what I considered to be a polite length of time, and then went outside to chat and smoke with xi_o_teaz. When we got back, someone had taken his drink! The funny thing is, we had three drinks on the table (mine, and 1 alcoholic and 1 water for him) and two of them were left, so that means that it wasn't the staff who came by and cleared it away, it had to be one of the other patrons. (My guess - probably the creepy skank - but that is pure supposition.) I stayed for a couple hours, but then the music got really crappy, so I decided to walk home. And as I did so, I put on my headphones and man. Every. Single. Song. Was. Perfect. I was in an awesome groove and just blissing my brains out. Spider is the best DJ, ever.

Now, I am going to collapse, because I am soooooo beat. There were some other cool things earlier in the day, but I don't have the energy to recount them. I will say that this has been the best Feast of the Spider, ever. (Which, I suppose isn't saying a whole lot since it's actually just the second one that I've celebrated, but still.)

* Note that I am not being shallow, sexist, and so forth. I mean what I say: this girl seriously showed all of the signs of heavy drug use over a prolonged period of time, which might go a long way towards explaining her behavior, come to think of it.

One of the more interesting things about tarantism is it's frank and unapologetic eroticism. The possessed individuals dance lewdly, make obscene and blasphemous statements, have raunchy spiritual visions (one of my favorite was a woman talking about how Saint Paul frequently bit her between the legs) and the like. Well, in keeping with that, I would like to share a couple passages from an absolutely wonderful book I've been reading today called The Book of the Spider: A Compendium of Arachno-Facts and Eight-Legged Lore by Paul Hillyard. (Seriously, if you're at all interested in the mythology and folklore of spiders, fascinating scientific information, or just want to get over your arachnophobia - this is the book to start with!)

So, anyway, I was out having a nice dinner at the Olive Garden (figured that Italian food would be in order, considering the locality of tarantism) before I go out dancing, and I came across these passages, and they are just so awesome and humorous that I have to share. (I really love his writing style.)

Courtship among spiders is usually an elaborate affair. It is hazardous because of the dangers of getting it wrong. A male must find a female, convince her that his intentions are honorable (he's not going to devour her), and then negotiate a safe-conduct pass so that he can mate with her (instead of having her devour him).

Ha. And you thought your dating experiences were awkward! Imagine the opening conversation for that one.

Beyond convincing her that he is neither predator nor prey, the visual or sensory signals in courtship may also convey his fitness as a mate.

So, not only does he have to be a smooth talker, he's got to look good too. (Just not too good, if you catch my drift.)

Because they are cannibals, spiders can be their own worst enemies. Some will eat spider eggs and young

Yeah, I hate children too ...

as well as their spider neighbors and mates. It is not surprising that nearly all spiders live on their own!

I'm sooooo with them there.

Bonds of love mean nothing to spiders but bonds of silk are another matter. By spinning broad silk bands around the female's legs, male African fishing spiders and some male American nursery-web spiders immobilize their mates. Some male crab spiders indulge in little foreplay but simply tie the female to the ground before crawling under to mate.

Mmm. Spider BDSM. That is so. Fucking. Hot.

And, on that note, I am going to start getting ready for my night out dancing with Spider.

One of the few non-religious or history-focused blogs that I regularly read is Comics Should Be Good, which offers insightful commentary and keeps readers abreast of current trends in the comic book industry. One of my favorite sections is Comic Book Urban Legends which is a pretty self-explanatory title. A lot of it is really amusing, such as the most recent entry, which examined whether DC comics in the 70s sent out a questionnaire to see if readers would be interested in stories featuring Black people. And, well, it turns out they did, listing them right along with pollution, space flight, and astrology as other potential topics. Funny stuff. Anyway, further down they examined some urban legends about gay characters in comics - which apparently set off quite a shit-storm. Most posts to the blog get around 10 or 20 comments, but this one - and several others around it - clocked in at over a hundred. A lot of them are pretty much what you'd expect - but amid the dross there was this very intelligently phrased comment:

In short, behavior (homosexuality) can’t be equated with a genetic trait (e.g., skin color).

No, it can´t. However, we should not conclude that homosexuality, not being a genetic trait, is just a matter of option or a kind of behavior, as some people would like to conclude. Culture can be as determinative as genetics, and in some cases, far more powerful.

For example: language is a cultural trait. There´s no “english gene” in your DNA pool that enables this particular language instead of, say, portuguese or chinese. However, to any of you native english-speakers it´s a unavoidable and unarguable fact that you can´t stop speaking english. It´s your native tongue: even if you move out to another country, even if you mastered another language to the point where you think in the adopted tongue, for the rest of your life, you will be able to understand english and speak it too… even if your proficiency tends to suffer from a certain decay due to the lack of exposition to native speakers.

So, just because homosexualism is a cultural trait, it doesn´t mean it is a matter of option, or a “choice behavior”. A homosexual preference for partners of the same gender is a cultural imprint just as unavoidable as his ability to speak in his mother tongue. With the difference that anyone can learn to speak another language, and that´s always a valid mind-opening experience. But forcing homosexuals into hetero relationships that go against their desires and innermost will is just a brutal and painful abuse.

I don't entirely agree with it, but then I'm equally skeptical about the whole "gay gene" theory. Sorry, I just don't buy determinism - be it religious, biological or what have you - especially when it comes to something as fluid as sexuality. (People have enough excuses not to take responsibility for their actions, we don't need to add to them by infantalizing folks from the get-go.) And, hell, even if it turns out to be true, that shouldn't be the basis of acceptance. "Oh, they can't help it, so we'll just leave them alone." Bullshit. All people deserve to be treated with respect - because they are people. End of story. Even if I don't like the way someone looks, or what they do or believe - I'm not going to disrespect them or interfere with their right to live their life the way they want to, provided it doesn't infringe on my own pursuit of happiness.

But I think that comment is very thought-provoking (imagine trying to think in a different language, or constantly being told that your language is a sinful abomination, even though it's the only way you have to communicate) and puts the emphasis in the proper place, especially that last line, though they go on to say some other good stuff too.

Here's a positive review of Agora from Cannes. I am very excited.

So, here’s my retelling of the Anansi story which I believe was called Anansi and the River-Goblin. I’ve changed a few things here and there, but it’s pretty much what I remember hearing.

 

Anansi the spider lived with his wife and their two children in the jungles of Africa. Now old Anansi, he was a lazy creature, the laziest thing in all the world. He hated to do any kind of work whatsoever, and preferred to spend all of his time sleeping.

 

But how can that be, you’re no doubt asking. Isn’t Anansi the one who traveled all over the world giving out wisdom to all the different peoples of the earth? Well, you see, Anansi stole that wisdom from the gods in heaven and he kept it in a jar so that he could have it all to himself. But one day he was climbing high up above the world, with the jar strapped to his back, when all of a sudden it slipped and broke against a tree, spilling all of its contents on the people down below. And a fat lot of good that wisdom has done them – they were better off without it if you ask me! But anyway, that’s a story for another day.

 

On this day, Anansi was taking a nap, as he did most days, trying to avoid the hot summer sun. He was having a really good dream, too, and he didn’t want to wake up from it. In his dream Anansi was King of All the Animals, and they brought him gifts so that he never had to do a bit of work aside from being King.

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Hahaha! I just walked in the door, after doing all my Spider stuff for the day, and noticed that it is 8:08. Yeah, that’s the kind of day it’s been. Full of magic and wonderful little synchronicities.

 

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I'm rather amused. Today is the 4th of the lunar month, the day I've set aside on my personal calendar to honor Hermes. As it turns out, because of an odd synchronicity, it will also be the start of my observance of the Feast of the Spider.

Normally this festival is supposed to be on June 28 and 29, commemorating the Feast of Saint Paul of the Tarantists. However, last week erl_queen let me know that the Eugene public library is doing a shadow-puppet theater presentation on the myths of Anansi. Considering how too perfect that all was, I decided to revise my observance a bit. I'm starting my celebration today and continuing it through Saturday and Sunday. This way Spider gets 3 days instead of 2.

Really, I'm quite impressed with the synchronicity of that. I mean, in my personal cosmology Spider is linked to Dionysos and Hermes. On the surface, it would seem that tarantism is a more Dionysian phenomenon, and in many ways it is. But last year I was getting a very strong Hermes vibe off of this festival, which sort of makes sense, since Hermes and Saint Paul have a lot in common, going back to the Book of Acts where Paul was even mistaken for Hermes. The more overtly Dionysian Spider festival that I celebrate is the Aiora, which falls during Anthesteria. So, there's a nice symmetry there - Spider is linked to two of my other gods, she has two major festivals on my calendar, one of which she shares with each. A further sign that this is the right way to do things is the fact that this is starting off with the Anansi thing this year, since Anansi is a very Hermes-like character.

Aside from the strictly religious/devotional stuff I'll be doing over the next three days, I have a number of activities planned.

Today, after the whole puppet show thing, I'm going to be reading The Land of Remorse (pretty much the book on tarantism) and Spider Divination in the Cameroons to sort of set the mood. I'll also start working on fleshing out my personal version of ngam, even if it's going to be a while til I get my own actual spider to use it with. (Considering I still don't have a job, I don't want to take on that extra responsibility.) Then tomorrow I'll go out dancing at one of the local clubs, since that plays such an important part of all this. And Sunday ... well, Sunday I have a very big sacrifice planned, but it's not something I can really talk about. I am so excited, and can't wait to get started!

So, dear readers, I leave you with this awesome video, a documentary which shows some actual tarantists in action. The dancing, especially at the end, is pretty intense and creepy, especially when the possessed women start moving around on their backs like spiders.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjSQGdGGl6o

Good stuff.

As part of my devotions for Aphrodite I stopped by the Owen Rose Garden. Last time I was there was for a festival in late winter/early spring. There were no roses then, just a bunch of empty branches and desolate bushes, which had its own charm and fit in well with the theme of the festival. But wow, what a difference a couple months make. There were so many roses – hundreds and hundreds of them in dozens of different colors. Colors I had no idea roses came in! As I walked down the rows and rows of flowers I was struck by the beauty and complexity of nature – and how much Aphrodite is involved in all of it. I mean, why are there so many different colors of flowers? It serves no definite purpose … except that it does, really. Seduction. The flowers are trying to attract the plump little bees to come and rub up against them so that their pollen will spread and their species survive. And further, they’ve learned to produce colors that appeal to us humans so that we will plant more of them and protect them and ensure that they thrive. I kept flashing back to things that Michael Pollan had said in Botany of Desire (which is a really great book that you should read if you haven’t already) and how charming Aphrodite was behind it all. I mean, those flowers first sprang up when her delicate feet touched the earth as she rose from the waters in primordial times.

 

After leisurely enjoying the flowers and vine-decked arbors of the garden, I headed over to a secluded spot by the river, shielded by lush vegetation. I poured out the wine, offered up a chocolate cake, and rapturously sang her praises. Then I sat for a while, just soaking in all the beauty of my surroundings. Before I knew it, I was hit with this intense wave of gratitude, which came pouring out of me with such force that I felt my eyes start to dampen.

 

I felt how good and wonderful and beautiful the world is, and how rich my life has become. And all of it thanks to my amazing gods! I was so grateful just to know them and have them in it, and for everything they’ve done for me over the years. And I started doing this internal inventory, going over all the blessings they’ve showered upon me. And the one that I was most thankful for – aside from their presence, which is really the greatest gift of all – is my beautiful and wise and sexy and wonderful erl_queen

You know, in all the world, so full of treasures of near infinite variety – there is only one of her. Just one. And the gods gave her to me, to love and care for and to have in my life, making it better a thousand different ways. And I felt like the luckiest man in the world, because no one else has been given this unique and precious gift. Just me! And gods, I wish she had been there so that I could tell her how wonderful and special she is, how much I love her and want to make her happy and feel cared for. And, well … I’m sure you get the picture. No sense getting overly mushy – though if you had caught me a half hour ago, wheew boy would the mush have been flowing!

 

 

So, I just sat there blissing out and overwhelmed with gratitude, and then all of a sudden I could feel Aphrodite, and she was so warm and beautiful and loving and soft, and I basked in her presence for a while, feeling so peaceful and content and happy. At one point this tubby Mexican guy and his redneck friend in a back-turned baseball cap and wife-beater came down and started fishing. At first I was annoyed to be intruded on, fearful that my moment of deep joy would be ruined … but to my surprise, it wasn’t. I felt so calm, so at peace, their presence didn’t even bother me. We smiled at each other, and it was okay that they were there. I was doing my thing, they were doing theirs and everything was as it should be.

 

So, anyway, that’s my Aphrodite experience for today. Man, she is a powerful goddess to be able to turn a jaded misanthropic bastard like myself into … well, you saw.

 

I was thinking about Aphrodite today, and specifically how she was worshiped and understood in Greco-Roman Egypt. You can kind of break it down into several different roles.

 

There’s the fairly standard representation, familiar to anyone who has read their Homer and Hesiod, of Aphrodite as the goddess of love, pleasure, and all the charming aspects of life. Beauty, courtesans, feasting, love poetry, that sort of thing.

 

Then there’s the syncretic form of the goddess, fused with either Isis or Hathor because of their numerous similarities. Aphrodite - now with cow horns!

 

Thirdly you find a rather distinct version of the goddess connected with soteria redemption, saving. Most commonly the protection of sailors and travelers, but she also – especially in literary sources – comes to the aid of lovers whose lives are in danger.

 

Fourthly, and much more interestingly from my perspective, is the funerary Aphrodite. Part of this may well have been a result of her syncretism with Hathor – but I think it also might have been part of the original Makedonian conception of her. Because we see it a lot in the early period, and specifically attached to the Ptolemaic court – though this conception of her was certainly not limited to that sphere, and continued well into Roman times. It’s really quite interesting, though. She appears at the death of several people, carrying them into the next world or transforming them into stars or heroic figures. Many individuals were granted posthumous cults – but usually in some form entwined with Aphrodite. We see this with Kleopatra, Arsinoe, Berenike, Belistiche, and a host of royal courtesans – as well as people of much humbler station. (If anyone is interested in seeing the quotes I allude to, at least as relate to the Ptolemies, they can click here, where I have compiled many of them.) In fact, one of the best sources on the chthonic aspects of Aphrodite are the Greek magical papyri, which show the völkisch or popular manifestations of ancient Greco-Egyptian religion. (The Aphrodite of the PGM is pretty fucking bad-ass – definitely not the wilting flower of Homeric epic.) But this wasn’t really a novel thing – back in Makedonia Aphrodite seems to have been worshiped largely as a funerary deity, with small representations of her buried along with the deceased. There appear even to have been similar expectations of posthumous identification with her.

 

Of course, all of this makes perfect sense, and doesn’t suggest a patchwork goddess in the least. Concerns with death are an organic outgrowth of being a goddess so intimately, so fundamentally connected with the processes of life. (You can’t have one without the other, and if you dig deep enough you’ll discover why.) The abundance of life that is her blessing was so great, so powerful that it could transcend the artificial boundaries of death – opening up onto an even greater fullness of life. This was done by aligning themselves with her, by becoming suffused with her divine identity until it was their own. You see a very similar mystery connected with Dionysos, as well as Osiris and Hathor. Stuff like this really makes you wonder. I suppose there’s any essay in there somewhere, should I feel inspired to write it.

I actually wrote this a while back, for a friend. But today is the day that I have set aside to honor Aphrodite, so I figured I'd share this meditation on love and its goddess. Normally, I'm not so philosophical or cosmological, and generally that isn't how I relate to Aphrodite, either ... but I think it gets the point of her importance across.
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Wallabies are getting stoned on Tasmania’s opium poppy crops and hopping about in circles, authorities say.

Attorney-General Lara Giddings says wallabies have created crop circles of squashed poppies as they increasingly hop in to the fields eating the poppy heads.

That causes them to get high and run around in turns creating crop circles, she told a budget estimates hearing.

Oh man, I’m beat. I just got back from doing a ritual for Horus up on Skinner’s Butte. It’s the highest point in town, and I thought it would be cool to do something for him there, as close to the heavens as I could get. And it was, but now I’m so ready for a nap.

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“Hail to you, O Horus of the Two Horizons, Khepri that is, who came to be by himself. How beautiful is your rising from the Horizon to illuminate the Two Lands with your sunlight, with all the gods rejoicing when they see you as king of the heavens. I have come to see you, and I am with you, to see your sundisk each day. Let me not be prevented, let me not be turned back, let my limbs be renewed at seeing your perfection, just like all those you have honored.” – Book of the Dead, Chapter 15 Paprus Ani

Since today is the day that I've set aside to honor Horus, I'm working on compiling a devotional playlist for him. Any suggestions, o wise and tasteful friendslist?

So, in case you couldn't tell, I'm in a music mood, and in keeping with that I was wondering ... what's your favorite love song?

Happy Noumenia everyone!

It's funny, a lot of times these occur and it's just sort of a date on the calendar, but this time, I'm really feeling it. As I wrote to erl_queen a little bit ago:

I don't know what it is, maybe there's something special about it, or maybe it's just that I'm really trying to focus on it this time, but I can really feel that it's the noumenia today. Everything feels so fresh and alive, so full of wonderful possibility. The sky is bright blue, the trees a dense green, and the breeze makes it cool and comfortable. I feel the gods and spirits around very strongly and I just want to stand there, basking in their presence, soaking up that awesome energy like a flower with its face turned towards the sun. It's just really, really nice ...

This noumenia is also the start of a new phase of my religious practice. Well, technically, it sort of began on the solstice with our celebration of the Daimoneia (which erl_queen did a lovely write-up for, with pictures, here.) But it starts for real for real today, with the noumenia.

I could get all navel-gazey, talk about what lead up to this change and why it was necessary ... but you know what? I don't feel like it, not on an awesome day like this. This is a time to look forward, to focus on the positive, and I think this change is going to be immensely positive.

Basically, I've gone back to the drawing board. Figured out who my core group of deities are, revised my personal festival calendar and days of devotion accordingly, and ever since I did that about a week ago, it's like a switch was flipped, the missing piece fell into place, I've felt optimistic and excited about things in a way that I really haven't for a while now.

Here is my core group of gods and the schedule of regular monthly devotions I've come up with for them:

Noumenia – All the gods
2nd – Horus the Elder
3rd – Aphrodite
4th – Hermes
5th – Hathor
6th – Seth
8th – Spider
9th – Dionysos
11th – Anubis
13th – Dionysos oracle
15th – The Ptolemies
16th – The Willamette
18th – Sobek
21st – Apis
27th – The Nymphai
28th – Nephthys

One of the things that I'm working on is putting together playlists of appropriate music for each of them. Do you guys have any suggestions? I'll post what I've come up with later. But for now, I want to go run around on this gorgeous and powerful day.

We Neos Alexandrians have made our fifth charitable donation with a portion of the proceeds from the sale of our Bibliotheca Alexandrina titles. This time the members decided to give money to the good folks at the Nature Conservancy which is dedicated to preserving "the plants, animals, and natural communities that represent the diversity of life on Earth." We were able to give them a donation of $94.00, thanks to all of you who have purchased our books over the last month or so. So thanks to you, the members of Neos Alexandria, and the people behind the Nature Conservatory! Together we're all working to make the world a better place.

(A record of this will be added to the site shortly.)

And now for something totally different, here's a review of my book Gods and Mortals. A not entirely favorable one, I might add, but it certainly could have been worse. Most of what she appears to have a problem with is my introduction to the book, which she felt was almost wholly unnecessary, self-obsessed, and goes on for much, much too long. All valid critiques, which I'll keep in mind should I ever bring out another collection of fiction. (Though, in my defense, I rather like when an author let's us in behind the scenes and reveals the origins and processes by which a story came to be. I suppose for others it's a lot like watching sausage being made, however, and tends to ruin the appetite.) Another criticism was that the sex scenes in a couple of the stories weren't the least bit sexy. *cringes* Ouch. Wouldn't be the first time my erotic technique has left the ladies dissatisfied. Though, in my defense, I do at least know the difference between Hellenic and Hellenistic.

Speaking of interesting Spider-related finds, I found a couple sites I book-marked a while back, but never really posted about. Part of why I didn't post about them is because it isn't really directly relevant to the work I do or the "mythos" surrounding my daimon.

You see, not all spiders are one spider. Okay, on some level that's actually not true. There is this great Ur-Spider spirit, sort of the Platonic Ideal or Quintessence of Spideriness. I met it, once. Very strange, very abstract, very alien - and very much not my Spider. My Spider is related to it, somehow, but also quite distinct. My Spider is also distinct from a variety of other spider-deities and spirits. I enjoy reading about those figures and the traditions associated with them, but there isn't the kind of connect, that electrical shock of familiarity that I get when I read about Arakhne-Erigone, Tarantism, or Ngam. (I'm not sure if my Spider actually had something to do with these traditions back in the day - spread through Greece, Southern Italy, and West Africa - or if she's thoroughly modern, as it were, and just adapting these traditions for her own ends. I guess that's kind of a chicken/egg sort of conundrum - fascinating to speculate about, but ultimately unsolvable. I will say, however, that it's downright spooky at times how well those strands of tradition come together and overlap. There's an elegance to it that I couldn't have fabricated even if I tried. It's all even spookier when I've been doing a particular practice or working through a set of ideas under the guidance of Spider ... and then discover the exact same thing in a book she directed me to pick up, which has actually happened several times now.)

Total tangent here, but I'm also attracted to a small group of spiders, but not others. I can't necessarily say what it is about them - it's not even like all the spiders that I am drawn to look alike or share a set of specific qualities: in fact, as far as such things go, they're a fairly diverse grouping, but it also seems to be a closed group, if you catch my drift. Other spiders ... they're neat, but they don't do a whole lot for me.

So, anyway, this stuff here sort of falls into that category. Neat, but not really related to my Spider. Okay, maybe it goes beyond "neat" - some of this stuff is pretty bad-ass, in fact.

Take this necklace, for instance. It comes from the Moche civilization of Peru. Most of their art consists of erotica and scenes of warfare, human sacrifice, and blood-drinking - which already makes them pretty cool in my book. Add to that the fact that their principal deity was the "Decapitaor" or Ai Apaec, a gruesome spider figure with interlocking fangs who was the son of the creator deity, connected with kingship, fertility, the underworld, and the protection of the Moche people, and it just increases the awesomeness. As it turns out, this actually has some interesting parallels with the spider-lore from the Cameroons - but unfortunately not enough, and I just don't feel any kind of resonance with this. But still, it's pretty neat stuff if you ask me.

On June 28 and 29 I'll be celebrating the Feast of Spider, one of two major festivals on my personal religious calendar dedicated to my daimon. (So yes, dear readers, expect a lot of arachnofocused posts leading up to the event!)

Last year's observance didn't really go as planned, so I've been thinking of ways that I could "spruce it up" a bit this time around, adding a variety of devotional activities to the trance work, dancing, and more intimate spiritual stuff I've already got lined up.

Well, out of the blue, erl_queen sends me an e-mail this afternoon notifying me of the following event taking place the Friday before my festival:

Anansi the Spider Puppet Show
Friday, 6/26 at 11am and 2pm
Eugene Public Library
Oregon Shadow Theatre brings this West African trickster tale to life.

Why yes, that'll do rather nicely.

Ah, synchronicity at work. Don't you just love it?

I've been doing some interesting reading about arachnophobia today. It seems that only a small percentage of the population suffers from this affliction - as opposed to a generalized dislike/moderate fear of spiders, which is fairly common - but when they do, it is often so intense and psychologically debilitating that it can lead to paralysis and even death - caused just from looking at a spider. The fascinating thing is, according to the general psychoanalytical theory, arachnophobia usually has very little to do with spiders themselves, or even their venomous bite which is what one might normally expect. No, the spider is really just a mask or cipher for a deeper, underlying psychological issue. Often it hides a sexual pathology (spiders, being hairy, apparently bring up discomfort surrounding the genitals, reproduction, and 'dirtiness' in general). When we are not able to face traumatic events in our past, we may instead channel that anxiety onto the spider, since it is much easier to avoid or deal with them. When people have feelings of loneliness, powerless, and isolation arachnophobia can develop or increase, especially if they must rely on other people to remove the creatures from their living space. (Apparently the highest percentage of people who suffer from arachnophobia are middle aged or elderly, and many develop it only at that stage in their life, previously having no problem with spiders.) Freud believed that the spider-fear was a substitute for our ambivalent feelings about parental figures - either the consuming, castrating mother or the judgmental and punishing father. (He said that people fear the bite of the spider most when they secretly fear that they deserve to be punished.) And Jung maintained that dreaming about spiders could reveal a subconscious obsession with suicide.

All of which, of course, is really quite fascinating from a spiritual perspective. Here we see Spider, dealt with in a strictly imaginative or symbolic way (which is the only way that people who are not grounded in the reality of the spiritual realm must approach such things) appearing to people who are deeply troubled and psychologically ill. In learning to face and overcome their fear of spiders, they can gain mastery over themselves and the necessary tools to combat these even greater afflictions. If they don't, she makes the situation much, much worse until they are forced to act ... or die. At the very least, she performs the role of messenger, alerting us and others to the presence of a significant affliction of the soul.

It's funny - the more I learn about spiders, the more I come to love and respect them. I wonder what arachnophilia indicates from a strictly psychological perspective? (Though, to be completely honest, even with my love for Spider, I still have some issues with spiders. In fact, consistent with Freud, I've noticed that I have a greater anxiety around them when I feel as if I have been slacking off or negligent in my religious duties, particularly those concerning her. When I'm actually doing what I'm supposed to, I have no problem with them. Hmm. Food for thought.)

This is my new favorite blog:

http://wowdemoblog.tumblr.com/

Basically, it's an anonymous indie record label that has posted some of the cringe-worthy demos that it's received over the years.

There will be lulz. Trust me.